some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
