i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
