normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
