i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
