Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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