My cat gives me a boner
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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