He asked to "fluff my boner.."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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