I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
