does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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