why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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