I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
