Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
