will power is for people who don't want to get laid
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
