So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
