i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
