WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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