why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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