his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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