She's JV to your varsity
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
