I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
