Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
this will be a night to untag.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
