Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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