We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
