Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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