PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
