I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
