is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
