...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
