idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
