I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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