why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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