Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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