the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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