I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
