So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
