some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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