Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
