We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
