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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
