you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
