I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
