Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
