I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
