i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
