apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
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