Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
