My cat gives me a boner
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
