do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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