last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day đđ#pensacolaproblems
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming âWHERES THE BLOOOWWWWâ
Iâd say they were worth it. He screamed âyour tits are fanfuckingtastic!âwhile he was cumming
when your dumb AF ex âaccidentallyâ venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... âsorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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