Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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