I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
