I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
