She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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