Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
