Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
